First day with Rita Mae

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In honor of Jessica Kennedy-Rockefeller’s first day of work with the new library, the staff scrambled to bring in an author of national import. Though she had hoped for J.K. Rowling, Ms. Kennedy-Rockefeller appreciates that finishing Book 7 is perhaps more urgent than welcoming a new employee. Perhaps.

Instead, Ms. Kennedy-Rockefeller settled for an author visit from Rita Mae Brown, who turned out to be a very engaging, comical speaker. This flies in the face of all logic, as RMB co-authors books with her kitty, Sneaky Pie Brown. You just can’t trust people like that.

Unsurprisingly, the staff at the new library were all very eager to meet the new employee. Undoubtedly this is because Ms. K-R’s reputation precedes her, and not at all because everyone else can now stop working overtime.

It was mildly disconcerting that no one offered to accompany Ms. Kennedy-Rockefeller on her lunch break, but on reflection it makes perfect sense: the new coworkers must have assumed that Ms. K-R already had lunch dates with famous celebrities from her own inner circle. The new coworkers don’t yet realize that Ms. K-R is gracious enough to dine with ordinary, everyday librarians. As her reputation for humility spreads, the other librarians will surely overcome their intimidation and venture to request the pleasure of her company.

As a final note, the masses may rest easy concerning Ms. Kennedy-Rockefeller’s clothing ensemble for the first day. She did not, in fact, show up to work naked, as she had dreamt (though of course that would have been a stunning and satisfying display in many, many ways). Instead, she wore a knock-out, flowing orange skirt (which is actually too long for her, but you can’t tell because she pulls it up to her boobs) and a conservative but flattering cotton black blouse. The shirt showcased Ms. K-R’s elegant eighth-note tattoo; when pressed, her new boss said that the display of visible tattoos had never before been an issue, so until she hears otherwise, Ms. Kennedy-Rockefeller will proudly display her body art. Most of it, anyway; she might wait a bit before showing off the nipple ring.

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