Thanks to Marian the Librarian, a Real Live Book Editor has contacted me to see if I’d like to write a book. Me! Write a book! That’s so COOL!
Now it happens that this book would be part of a series of library texts about different nonfiction genres. And it also happens that I don’t like to read nonfiction. So let’s keep that tidbit to ourselves, shall we?
This is my ticket to celebrity. Annotated bibliographies are destined to become bestsellers. I can already hear the paparazzi pounding at my door.
(Oh… on second thought, that’s my neighbour snoring. These apartment walls are frightfully thin… Fortunately, my neighbor is married. Everyone knows that married people don’t have sex. I haven’t had to listen to anything embarassing.)
I’m going to write the book proposal this weekend. (I had said I would write it last weekend, but… eh…) I shall propose that I write a book on Women’s Nonfiction. This is not, to my knowledge, an actual genre, but I am not going to let niggling little details keep me from the fame I so clearly deserve.
I shall further propose that my book about women’s nonfiction be called Just the Ma’am Facts: A Guide to Blah Blah di Blah Blah.
(In my experience, no one ever reads beyond the mandatory semicolon, so I can fill it with whatever I like. Subtitle options abound!
- Just the Ma’am Facts: Why Jessica Kennedy-Rockefeller Is The Sexiest Librarian Ever
- Just the Ma’am Facts: The Ordinary Person’s Guide to Requesting Audience with Jessica Kennedy-Rockefeller
- Just the Ma’am Facts: Collected Fan Letters to Jessica Kennedy-Rockefeller)
So, um, if anyone knows of any, um, Women’s Nonfiction books, feel free to let me know about them. And let me know about any subgenres of Women’s Nonfiction. And, while we’re at it– do drop me a line if you find evidence that Women’s Nonfiction is, in fact, a genre.