The nice folks at Libaries Unlimited have faith in me. This is heartening. They are certain that I will have the time, the patience, and the sheer moral fortitude to finish indexing and copyediting by August 30. I know this because of the Amazon page featuring Women’s Nonfiction: A Guide to Reading Interests.
Do note that you can place your pre-order now. At a mere $55 per book, these will make excellent Christmas presents. Start your holiday shopping now! Please also remember other gift-giving holidays such as Thanksgiving, Halloween, birthdays, Labor Day, Columbus Day, and Thursdays.
I fully expect that everyone clicked on that Amazon link like they were supposed to. Failure to have done so constitutes immediate, irrevocable termination of any friendship, feelings of goodwill, or benevolent tolerance between the reader and me. For those of you who chose this inadvisable course of action, or rather inaction, I present to you the cover art (but remember: we are no longer on speaking terms, you and I):
“So what do you want for a book cover?” my editor asked.
“Oh, I’m not picky,” I said. I am an easy-going spirit. “How about a group of women of various races? Or if it has to be just one woman, that’s fine, just don’t let her be white. I’d like to suggest inclusivity.”
So here we have a picture featuring one white woman. Also on that Amazon page, and I KNOW everyone clicked on it, we see a blurb about the book. Attentive readers will see that my last name is misspelled. Sigh.
Nonetheless, I am pleased to see the book cover. It means, most likely, that there will in fact be a book. You can pre-order with confidence.
Now I expect that most of you—those I still count as friends, I mean—most of you will be inclined to congratulate me. To facilitate this process, I present to you a fun, interactive quiz:
How to Congratulate Jessica Now That Her Book Is On Amazon:
1. Which of the following is acceptable?
A.) “I know it was a lot of work, but don’t you think it’s worth it, now that you see the Amazon page?”
B.) “So when are you going to write another?”
C.) “That’s nice and all, but considering all the work you put into it, you must be exhausted. How about I do your laundry and empty the litter box, give you a break? I might help you with your other extant writing projects, while I’m at it.”
2. “Fantastic,” you say. “Let me buy you a drink ___________”:
A.) When the book is published
B.) When Jessica completes the indexing and copyediting
C.) Now. Right now.
3. “And not just a drink,” you continue. “Please permit me the pleasure of also buying you dinner at _______”:
A.) Nawab, for the Indian food
B). Das Waldcafe, for the German food
C). Sacred Grounds, for the healthy food and the artsy hippie atmosphere
Answer: Either A or B. Unfortunately, Sacred Grounds is closing. This is a national tragedy.
4. With fifty-five dollars, you could buy
A). Groceries for a week
B). My book
C). One hundred and ten paperback books at the library booksale
….If you answered all of the questions correctly, you can level-up to the next quiz, Exactly What Type of Drink Should One Buy for Jessica? Contact me for details.